King of the Stolen Lands

Kurgar's Musings...

By the sweet buggering gods and unholy hells in this blighted and forsaken place, Oleg’s continues to collect a particular sort of idiotic loser. Good thing the do-gooding fools have returned. Maybe now I can get paid and get the fuck out of here before my wits drain out of my ears like these inbred, mouth breathing fools. Their damn brains are entirely too far from the earth for them to function properly.

Looks like that pasty, self-important, hopped-up idiot of a gnome either went mad or dead, and the drooling mouth breathers have replaced him with a blasted passel of kobolds. I can’t say that it’s not an improvement, but now everything will be covered in kobold shit, and smell of ass and wet dog hair. At least it won’t stink of gnome.

I am going to go mad with all the damn yark-yarking. I guess I could just kill them. They’re only kobolds after all. Though there are two that seem relatively useful. Muckfuckface and ZitPockAss. Or something like that. Fuckin’ kobolds and their idiotic names.

Maybelle the Cow returned. Still the delectable little morsel, but she’s got the Host jammed so far up her ass, it wouldn’t be worth trying to make “half-dwarfs” with her, iffn’ you catch my meaning. heh heh.

But she did bring a scrumptious little gypsy twat that thinks she’s tough. She pulled a knife on me. It was cute. I’m pretty sure she wants the big dwarf mining pick, iffn’ you catch my meaning. heh heh.

And the Sword Lords did send payment, so back out into the wilderness with these do-gooding waterheads and their pet dog-faces.

I’m actually looking forward to this…

By the all the buggering gods, where did my life go so wrong?



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